Mongolian Restaurants always
rate higher than other restaurants. |
I had a wonderful opportunity to dine at the Bourbon Steak at the Fairmont Princess Resort in Scottsdale, AZ . I was told this was a 5-star restaurant (see update below), although I honestly have no idea what that means. I read about the star rating system on Wikipedia and was unable to find any information about how you get a star.
For the purposes of this article I am going to assume there are a limited number of "restaurant stars" and to get a star you must vanquish another restaurant in physical warfare. Once beaten you can take their star. The Mongolians naturally excel at these conquests and therefore their restaurants regularly have 300 stars or more.
Ambiance & Decor
I suppose there comes a time when every person must decide between starting a dance club and starting a restaurant. Sadly, it seems many people elect to do both. Call me old fashioned, but I enjoy good food, good wine, and good conversation. Although I thoroughly enjoyed hearing Queen's "Under Pressure" the volume made conversation rather difficult. Attempts at conversation with my date resulted in both of us saying "Huh?" a lot. I tried sign-language, but sadly I don't know sign language...and neither did my date. My attempts at inventing sign language on the fly were met with unapproving looks from almost everyone. So instead I just sat there in sullen silence being subjected to the restaurant owner's iPod.
Liberated from the obligation to make conversation I had time to dwell on other things. Like the damn chair I was sitting in. I honestly thought someone was having a joke at my expense. I kept checking for a hidden camera and expecting people to jump out and let me in on the joke. Sadly this never happened. Allow me to describe the setup. The chair was very deep; so deep that if I sat back in a proper sitting position my legs would be pointing out into the air like a little child. Please note, I'm not a hobbit, I am 6" feet tall. Since sitting back was impossible I had to sit on the edge of the chair. As if that wasn't annoying enough, our table sat lower than the chairs. I had to reach down to the table as I was perched on the edge of the seat. This meant I was hunched like a caveman for most of the meal.
All-in-all I would've preferred to sit cross-legged on the floor. Somewhere there is a posh Feng Shui designer/decorator who is no doubt having a good laugh at my expense. I should note that I was sitting in the lounge. I don't really think the place I was sitting was intended for regular meal service. I'm not sure it was really intended for use...period. Conversation is impossible due to the volume of the owner's iPod and the distances created by the spacing of the furniture. Dining is impossible because of the impracticality of the table & chairs.
I'm not terribly hard to please. As long as the decor doesn't physically hurt me, I'm unlikely to complain. I'm not very "trendy" though, so this stuff might play better with other crowds. Uncomfortable & impractical might be "in" these days. If that's the case I would recommend ripping the arms off the chair and propping up one side so that it sits on a slant. This would require the sitter to keep their left leg engaged to avoid sliding onto the floor. This would probably be really trendy. I have other ideas if anyone is interested.
All this being said, the entrance of the restaurant walks by a really neat display of wines. I thought this was well done.
Service
I am not what you would call a "frequent patron of fine dining". Something you have to get used to at fine dining establishments is that there are a lot of people staring at you all the time. These people aren't trying to steal your food. This was a mistake I made early on. Sadly there was a misunderstanding and the police were called after I put my butter knife to a bus boys' throat.
With this lesson learned, there were no incidents on this outing. I really don't have much to report about the service. My drink was refilled, my food wasn't dropped on the floor (within my sight), the food I ordered was delivered, I wasn't burned or stabbed. For any restaurant servers reading this, I don't wish to be insulting. I am sure there are complexities to your job that I simply don't understand. Behind the scenes you are probably fighting off terrorists or something. This is why I left you a $40 tip. Be sure to claim that on your taxes!
Food
Ok, enough with all this jibba-jabba , let's get down to the grub. (How many times do you see the word "grub" in a fine-dining restaurant review? Come to think of it, how times do you read the word "jibba-jabba" in a fine-dining restaurant review?)
Course #1 - Amuse Bouche
Our Amuse Bouche was
"fresh" hot fries. |
For those that don't speak French, "amuse bouche" translates roughly to "mouth amuser". It's sometimes called a "gift from the kitchen". It's like a pre-appetizer appetizer. In the kitchen they call this "stuff people send back to the kitchen". I'm just kidding. Often these small little dishes are very interesting. It gives you a chance to try some creative things which you might otherwise never think to order.
Our "amuse bouche" was duck-fat fries. These were basically "french fries" fried in duck fat. There were 3 different kinds of fries each paired with their own sauce. I couldn't hear the server so I don't know what they had in them. However, I can tell you one thing, one of them tasted exactly like "Hot Fries". They actually rocked! It was like eating "fresh" hot fries. Holy crap, is that Queen? I like this song. I SAID I LIKE THIS SONG!!!
Course #2 - Appetizers
We ordered some type of flat-bread paired with raw minced tuna, a quail egg yoke, and some other stuff. (Aren't these descriptions great?) The server took time to mix it and arrange it in a pyramid or something. Meanwhile I was trying hard to resist the temptation to put my butter knife to his throat. I thought it was pretty good, my date thought it was great.
We also ordered lobster paired with a crepe and some other stuff. It was really good too. There were also some orange slices in it and it took me awhile to place what the taste was. These unique taste combinations are one of the things I really like about fine dining. You get to try new combinations & are often surprised by what "works".
Course #3 - Main Course & Side Dishes
For the side dishes we ordered Truffle Mac 'n Cheese and Blue Cheese Scalloped Potatoes. Both were slightly overcooked and I personally have no desire to eat either of them again. They weren't bad, they just weren't great. I once had Jalapeno Mac 'n Cheese and Grits at the Roaring Fork that were rapture. This is where my bar is now and these side dishes did not approach rapture level.
For our entree we ordered steaks. I ordered the NY Strip and my date ordered the Filet Mignon. I completely enjoyed my steak, until I tasted my dates' Filet Mignon. I never dreamed steak could be that tender. It was incredible! Easily the best steak I have ever eaten in my life. The portions of meat were generous and I was "stuffed" by the end of this course. At this point in the meal I ceased being annoyed by my chair. It was that good!
Course #4 - Dessert
I should state up-front that I am not a "dessert person". I almost never eat dessert and I rarely have any desire to eat dessert. I know that makes me strange. I am personally content with a nice dry red wine to finish a meal. That being said, I wanted to give this the old college try.
I ordered a cheesecake paired with apples & an apple fritter, while my date ordered something chocolate that reminded me of "brownies". Presentation of both of these dishes was incredible. I personally didn't eat much of either of them though. Again, I don't like dessert. They seemed to both taste fine for what they were.
My date said her dessert, along with the Filet Mignon, was the highlight of the meal for her. So I am going to say the desserts were probably excellent and that I am merely a mutant who is incapable of appreciating such pleasures.
Conclusion
The Bourbon Steak restaurant has not yet formally opened, but it is plain to see that the restaurant has potential. They need to toss some of their furniture in the dumpster. They also need to turn the volume down on their damn iPod. Their appetizers & side dishes will continue to evolve and get better with time. Their core product though (steaks), is on the money!
Update #1: I was informed that the Fairmont Princess is a 5-star resort. The Bourbon Steak restaurant itself, is currently star-less. They await a great leader who will lead them into battle.
Update #2: I was informed that restaurant star ratings having nothing to do with warfare. Rather these star ratings appear to be assigned by local gas stations .
The reviewer lives and works in Scottsdale, AZ. He has absolutely no culinary background and has no qualifications what-so-ever to review restaurants. His perspective and observations should not be regarded or considered for even a second.